Neonixehertz.

27.11.08

Things kinda been blurry
Everything's so fast
Time zooms
Imran been asking to jam
But been super busy
i believe its the same for Hafiz

i need to study
i need to wake up
i need to be willing to change
i need to get rid of my laziness
i need to realise that i'm in year 2.2
i need to realise that i'm in A.E option
i need to realise that it was something that i've been fighting for all along this while..how can i ever doubt for a moment about my choice to get here. i'm where i wanted to be and how can i ever complain/rant for a moment about the things i have to go through. It may somehow seem that more effort and sacrifises need to be made to get through this semester..but hey, no pain, no gain. Its where i wanted to be and now that i'm here, its not the end of the road. Its only the beginning. Now that i'm here, its time to carry on the fight. Now i realised what this is all about..and i'm gonna go for it. (=
BUT,MOST importantly..
i need to...
sleep.
Haha.

And maybe if you're reading this,
You can teach me how to sleep.
Yes YOU!
YOU know who you are.
Haha! (=

Posted By Zul at 11:41 PM

10.11.08

This outlaw torn..
is making the mind closing up in fear.
As it keeps thinking if the face and heart..
is really becoming sincere.
Waiting for a whole lifetime.
Searching for the light.
Searching for the soul.
Searching for you.
But its seems that time is not there..

If you see me strut, remind me of what's left this outlaw torn...

Posted By Zul at 2:52 AM

8.11.08

Different.
Different people.
Different worlds.
Yet, one same place.

Say it out.
Only once.
Or maybe more.
If i'm not the only person,
to ever think about it.

i really feel flattered.
Honestly, i almost had no one or at least a group of people saying all that to me.
i mean, i am very much pleased and welcome..to make friends with anyone.
But being asked/welcomed into something,i'm really lost for words.

i know it may sound funny or even gay of me.
To say that they are somehow my new found friends?
Haha.., its been ages since i've been in a group.
After all, i guess i'm abnormal in terms of personality.

No rules, no boundaries, just basic simple respect for one another.
All anyone could ever ask for.
But in the midst of exploring this new world,
i came to remember an old place where i used to be.

i realised things have changed.
In fact, everything changed.
Not only was i thinking of you.
But you,you,you,you,you,you,you and you as well.

i thought to myself; i hope you are doing fine.
i really wish i could turn back time.
Don't ask me why.
i really wish i could.

Something so perfect, so nice.
Gone in a blink of an eye.
We all had our own ways, own directions.
Yet, i did played my part to make matters worse.

First crack in the wall.
Soon the wall became like a paper.
Torn, and each time it tears, cuts even deeper.
Seems to me that luck wasnt on our side.

Yes, i am an asshole.
Note that i didnt say i was because i know i still am.
But i realized my mistake and tried to be better.
i did came back with a new spirit and determination as i was more willing.

But i guess i was too late.
Too late to at least bring back a decent smile.
Things have gotten pretty bad.
i believe everyone was lost.
You just seemed to lost all confidence and faith in everything.
You just seemed to be here and there, hard to understand.
You just seemed hurt about someone 'backstabbing' you.
You just seemed to be busy and quite lost.
You just seemed to have many many faces over time.
You just seemed to be too nice that people take advantage of it.
You just seemed to be confused as the middle man.
You just seemed to be in your own world.
You just seemed to be really childish at times.
But neither were these, the reasons.
And me?
i just seemed to be so stupid running around and not able to accomplish anything.
i was just too late..maybe this is, the reason.

Everything's changed.
Yes, life is full of changes.
But i really didnt thought that it would change this fast.
And worse, change to all these.

How i really wish i could say sorry.
To you,you,you,you,you,you,you,you and you.
Doesnt matter if i have or have not did anything wrong.
Thing is, i really enjoyed and miss those times together.

We got there together, where we first met.
And it was also here we got to our seperate ways.
Its okay if you think or thought that i never cared at all.
Because i actually care, i really do, alot.

Different.
Different people.
Different worlds.
Yet, one same place.

But i guess its really time to change.
i have to get back to my life, really soon.
Lets just hope everything goes well.
For everyone and everything.

How can i be lost if i got nowhere to go?
Searched the seas of gold, how come it's got so cold?
How can i be lost in remembrance i relive?
And how can i blame you when its me i cant forgive?

i'm outlaw of torn..

Alot of things to do.
"..Trying to get into Aerospace is hard..but being in Aerospace is harder.."
When the hell am i going to get class 3?
Problems here and there,not free not free,busy busy busy.
Soon i hope. Real soon.
i se-fucking-riously want to ride. i miss riding.
i really miss my bike. But when the hell am i going to change frame?
Goddamit..fucking crankset and bbs! Haha
Everything so fucking expensive.
Haha..i'll see what i can do.
And finally..dont ask me about it.
Dont even wish to go there.
Let me remain to be the pathetic me as i am right now.
You are better off with someone else.

Posted By Zul at 2:35 AM