Neonixehertz.

26.1.08

Been some time..
i know life is full of surprises but,
Recently/lately/some time ago/whatever the time is/because i dunno how to say it/so,lolz,
it has been overwhelming i must say.
i've never been this surprised.
Like i blogged abt it before,
i will never forget that piece of advice.
i think thats reason i'm picking myself up again.

Nono, i believe thats the reason.
Thats how i learnt to get back up and what it means.
Thats how i was able to get back up again and again over time on different shits(shits = occasions).
i was here before but guess i forgot a few basic things.

Like what Hadi said..i come to believe that its actually quite true.
There's no such thing as "get over" something sad/bad.
The only thing to do is move on.
Either you move on with a heavy heart OR..
You move on with that something sad/bad not hurting you anymore.
"Get over" sounds like forgetting everything by thinking that it never happened or existed.
Thinking about it again and recalling things that i've heard and seen,
Almost nobody,that i know of,is able to really get over something sad/bad.
So what? i guess its almost impossible.
Its better to move on rather than forget everything that is sad or bad.
After all,sad and bad things/incidents/events are a part and parcel of life.
Exactly,so my point is,although its unpleasant,it serves as a memory to us.
And i do believe that we must treasure and appreciate memories or past events.
Don't always think that whatever that had happened is totally unpleasant.
We need to look at things from a different light..and that is from the positive viewpoint.
Believe that there's a blessing in disguise.
If it doesn't show up now,later it will.
After all..
Things happen for a reason.
Funny to see how i've forgotten my most powerful and important sentence.
But its okay..
Bottomline is,
i'm myself again,with a bit of the old thrown away,and new things learnt in my head. (:
Alhamdulillah..
Alright,done with that.

After almost 2 months not riding,
i rode for 8 hours.
Yesterday night was the night i poured my heart out to my bike.
i love my bike; she totally understands me.
i saw a full moon again.
It was very beautiful..just like her..just like her..
But now both of my arms are as weak as jelly.
Just wait till i wake up from my sleep.
Joint pain to the MAX.

Thats all i guess..and don't forget,
Things happen for a reason.

Posted By Zul at 6:27 AM

14.1.08

Time is running out.

Never been so angry since..
When was the last time?
Can't remember..must have been ages ago.
That anger management programme(facilitated by the patient himself) has helped him alot.
And he means ALOT.
And because of that too,he can't be angry for long.
But the moment he gets really angry,he won't end up angry at all.
Everything turns into sadness.
He's very sad now.
And he means VERY SAD.
He's not angry at all right now.
Sad,disappointed,worry is what runs through his mind.
He also fears that his optimitism is/might be running out.
He doesnt like and doesnt want to give up.
He cares alot but things don't look good at all..
Becoming from bad to worse and he guess now is worst.
Don't know if he's taking too long to get out of this.
Time is running out..

Need to hand in comprog flowchart in around 12 hours.
Fucking flowchart.
Fucking comprog.
Fucking subject.
Haha..i hope there's time to do this shit although i'm getting sleepy..
Time is running out..

i miss my bike.
Seriously,i fucking miss riding.
Had the thought of going back to my bmx life for some time.
Guess that's the way it should be.
Prefer my old-self.
But i've been damn busy and all..shitfuck dammit.
Will i ever get to ride again like in my younger days?
Time is running out..

Poor Hafiz;has no amps.
Imran has already started studying for As.
Retarded asshole..lols,joking bro.
i suddenly had the feeling of making music again recently.
Had the thought of getting nxhz active again too,maybe.
Busy,different priorities and most of all,no bassist.
Will there be any chance for us to survive?
Time is running out..

Honestly,
i prefer saying out "Fuck" rather than typing it.
But i guess i'm using it just to emphasize on the amount of time that i have.
And this WHOLE SHIT that has befallen upon us..okay,whatever that means.
Fuck,
So many things..
So little time..
And i'm lost.
Physically(Lack of sleep),
Emotionally(okok la..),
Mentally(Yes,this is the fuck).
Time is running out..

Posted By Zul at 1:08 AM

1.1.08

Happy New Year to everyone.
May 2008 be a better year for all.

2007..
i dont know about others.
For me gladly,its a pretty good year.
Started out quite shitty..
Until somewhere March or April.
Poly really changed my life,alot.
i know alot of these changes and stuff will come in/along the way.
But never did i know that it would mean so much and turn out this/that way.
i'm glad that i have made the right choice when i was 12.
And that is to be in Temasek Poly.
i feel good and great being in this school.
With all the things/events,studies at a very nice pace,friends that i've made.
i hope to feel the same way and even better.
i learnt alot of things.
Too many i saw.
Too many i heard.
Too many i thought.
Too many i realized.
Too many to mention.
But it was never too much to be understood.
Because although i've learnt alot,i know there's still alot more to learn.

But what does breathing for almost 18 years mean,
If you cant do anything about it?
i remain patient and quiet..but till how long if there's no difference?
Why are you so fucking hard on yourself,others and things?
i still don't understand..
Wouldnt it be better if we sit down and talk everything out.
Things would end up better.
You people just wont give a moment or chance for me to speak up.
Why? Why the fuck is it that way?
Just because i'm the youngest and all of you think,
That i dont know a single fucking thing?!
There's a malay saying..
"Besar jangan disangka bapak,kecik jangan disangka anak"
Which basically means dont think that adults are always right.
Young people do have brains and able to think.
But i still dont get the chance to prove myself.
i may have been childish and stupid when i was young.
Often bullied anyway.
But fuck la xia,i'm all grown up.
i can fucking think.
Why the fuck are you people still giving me the same treatment and shit?
......................
Hmm..its okay.i'll stay calm and patient.
You people dont even give a thought about how the fuck i feel as a child.
A child who is very determined and has alot of hopes.
Only to find his determination and and hopes shattered.
All you want is your youngsters to understand you.
Its okay..i'm just the tiny voices in this whole thing.
Maybe you all cant even hear them.
Its alright..as long as i'm still alive,
i wont give up. i dont quit that easily.
You have yet to know what i got and made of.
i dont and wont give a fuck about my feelings.
i'll suffer if i have to. Like i said,i wont give up.
Because when i got what i wanted,it shows that you lost.
Only then,can i rest in peace.
You got my word,bitch.

Happy New Year my friends.
\m/

Posted By Zul at 1:34 PM