Neonixehertz.

28.10.07

Okay to be honest,
i removed a post here.
Because [do i look like i'm gonna say?].

Let everyone think i'm a bad fella.i bad what.i've always been bad.everything i do is bad.a bad motherfucking loser after all..

Anyway
My ear is/was bleeding.
Cool i guess?

Until next time.

Posted By Zul at 3:32 AM

23.10.07

The new semester has begun.

What the hell..school start already xia.
Let the good times of schooling role again..the crazyness,lazyness and stupidity of engineering students.Timetable's kinda crappy but ok la i guess.Just need some time to adapt to it..no use complaining and i'm not someone who complains like bla bla bla yak yak yak yada yada yada yabedi yabedi yahoo.Got sociology for cds.Dont know what the hell is that but sounds cool.At least i got a few friends and contacts in the same cds..can share and exchange notes.

Checked out some drum sticks yesterday.The ones that i wanted to get were gone. *$@#&* .Its alright..apart from not knowing how to even hold the sticks properly,found out that i cant even pull off some very very basic stuff.3 months of not jamming.i really hope i can play when we start jamming again.Sad but true.Haha,lol,lmao,rofl.

i dont know why i actually did it.dont ask me please.i know that i'm dumb but after all that,i realised how dumb i can actually be.But its okay..seriously,its alright.Because i know the reason why.Any you know why?Cos i wanted to make you and everybody else happy.Now you know it right?But whats the point?It was and have never been a big deal anyway.People asked why am i still doing it when you guys were just giving me shit-kind-of-treament.You wanna know why?Because i dont care.i dont give a damn.Give me all the shit-treament you want.i wont do the same unless i wanted to.Must a bad deed be repaid with a bad deed as well?That will just worsen things isnt it.And anyway i guess you never regarded me as a person.Its okay,you're not the first one to do it anyway.its okay if i suffer just to see others happy.let me tell you what.i'm willing to do so.i'm willing to make others happy although if it means i'm gonna live my life like an idiot.Its better to just have ONE idiot to be sad and ALL the others happy than ALL the others sad and only ONE idiot happy.Sorry,i'm not selfish as that.If nobody is gonna lose,i'll give in.But i guess even you yourself can see that sometimes when i try to be nice all i get back is much more worse.i dont blame anyone.not even Allah,no way.Like i said,must bad deeds be repaid with bad ones as well?If you think i'm being pessimistic,you're wrong again.i may be an idiot but i do have self-esteem and i know what i'm doing.If i dont,i would have been an idiot who is much worse although i do sometimes think why am i still being nice.Why didnt i just go crazy and treat anybody in any way that i want.Why didnt i turn into a bad fella.Maybe its because i've been too bad when i was much younger.And instead i just remained to be nice.Why?Because of this thing called patience.i dont wanna show it and do not have any intention of showing how much patience i have in me.You cant even hold on for a month..or weeks or even a day.I held on for years my friend..years.i realised that this shit has affected me alot in many ways.It has made me into somekinda idiot that i dont like.Over the years,i've been trying to make myself a better person but almost all that i've seen and been living in is just betrayal,disloyalty and dishonesty.And guess what,it all leads down to this important thing called trust.i guess thats why i find it hard to trust people of the same kind as you.You wouldnt want to know how it feels like to keep telling yourself to stay positive while almost everything in your life is just pulling you down the hole of doom.Its like a matter of life and death.i've been there but not anymore.Because i learnt one very important thing when it comes to you.Its no point regretting what happened especially when it isnt your fault.Do whatever you want.Make your decision and dont ever look back.That way,you'll live life better.And just to let you know,that positive-person in me will never die.Because i am him.It takes much more than you think to bring me down.i didnt want to write all the crap but i just thought that people like you maybe need to know more about simple things in life like this.

Anyway,i just bathed my nephew.Haha.Never knew that bathing a baby/toddler was so much fun.What a naughty fella..and with me who loves playing with water..lol.Luckily the toilet didnt get flooded.
LOL.

Posted By Zul at 11:03 AM

16.10.07

Hey yo.
First of all,
Selamat Hari Raya to all muslims out there.

I finally got my undisturbed,no dream,no nightmare,no whatsoever,comfortable long night sleep.On the verge of falling sick though.I will TRY to take care of myself.(Note that its a TRY there not DO.So yeah,there's a difference.I may do it half-heartedly or even not at all.Haha!I'm saying this out specially for you sis,LOL.)

To Claudine and Matthew, so sorry i didnt talk alot.My eyes were killing me.All i could think of all the time was if i could even make my way home.See children,this is what happens when you have excessive usage of your eyes.So please,rest your eyes by looking at a distance objects for 5 mins after 45 mins to 1 hour of using the computer or you'll be myopic like me.But actually i became one because of playing cs too much in my primary school days,LOL.i think the problem with me i think i will get bored the next minute.So due to that,i'll be infront of this laptop which i am sick of it already for hours and after i'm done,i'll watch tv because i will always think that the night is still young.Another problem over there.When i finally go to sleep,its only for 4-5 hours.Again,another problem there.And it went for days.So yea kids,take that as a lesson.I'm a bad example,as always.And sry for losing my temper for a moment.. ): .Oh wells.

Anyway,Nxhz's sad but true.Now and soon.Haha,hopefully yea guys? Honestly,i turned into a quiet fella after not jamming for a long time.Haha,just reminds me of all the crazy and stupid stuff we do during jamming.Well not that i need jamming to make me noisy,maybe i have downgrade alot in a few aspects of me.Whatever that means,its like i've always been the siao ting tong idiot in the grp,making noise,doing stupid stuff,cracking jokes or whatsoever.Maybe now i'm much older i would wanna make way for other people to take up that 'job'.LOL..and maybe its also because i just wanna take care of my tongue so as not to say anything that will hurt anyone.But on second thoughts......................i'm kinda sick of being quiet.Haha,so i guess i'll become crazily lively again.Soon soon..insyaallah (:

Posted By Zul at 10:16 AM